This Week's Yoga Pose: Sayanasana

Chosen for its improbable nature, much like just about everything that happened this evening.

(From Greater Baltimore Yoga's website.)

M says AAAHHHHA HAHAHAHAHAHHA

Recap

Dammit=1
Perimeter=0
Improbable one-on-ones with the President =0
Resurrections=0
Faux deaths = 0
New entrants into the Stupid vs. evil pageant = 2
Kill Count (innocent americans) =1 (and that plant manager was the best character we've seen this season!)
Kill Count (bad guys) = Several
Bauer Kill Count = Several
Smoldery glances = 0
Hair gel moments = 0 (Jack's hair looks great though! Even after the explosion. I disagree tho, whoever was with Gedge needs some serious hair gel!!!!)
Jack being ruthless =0
Jack being tender =0
Inappropriate relationships revealed = 1 (Moss talked about his "history" with Renee)
Inappropriate conversations during a valve shut down = 1
Explosions =1 (buh bye, guy who developed the CIP device)
Insults to the law enforcement community = uh, multiple. "M", your count?
Women proven stupid =0
Women proven evil=0

When will we find out why Chloe and Bill went "outside"? Why did the bad guys destroy the CIP device? When will something happen that recommends comedic commentary?

"M" says: I should have skipped this and gone to bed early!!

Mommy Brain!?

"M" read a book to "J"...and then forgot 24???

Hmmm. She'll catch up now -- and someone's really on the hook for next week.

"M" says Thinking she'd rather be reading "Hop on Pop" again

Tony's Facial Hair

It's changing in every scene!
"Tony, you have to face the consequesnces of those bad things you did be fore you hooked up with Bill," says Jack.

Sigh, time for the split screen montage.

(And the most action packed 5 minutes of the show...)

And another new candidate for the stupid vs. evil portion of this evening's pageant, Maria. Dubaku's girlfriend?

Now, We'll Find Out About Ethan

Is he, or isn't he?

(Evil, that is.)

She did NOT just tell Ethan about Matobo!!!! Crikey! I think Madam Prez may be on the stupid not evil list.

First Man is a Sitting Duck

Dubaku is riding a bus? Did he have a metrocard? (Or whatever they are called in DC.)

And Secret Service couldn't have gone after Gedge and the First Man say, 15 minutes ago after (Possibly) Evil Ethan's last voice mail?

Secret Service Has Put out An APB?

Uh, yeah. That happens.

Has Tony Shaved?

Ok, now that was something blowing up...

Split screen has been quite the device this week.

Renee has confirmed that she's totally gone rogue. Remember Kate? "Jack, I can shoot a gun".

And girls acting like men, I mean, men acting like girls -- how about Sean and Larry having a little hissy? LEOs Behaving Badly? (or at least insultingly to actual members of our law enforcement community.)

Sigh, I've lost my sister, too.

The First Diet Drink for Men?

Was that a faux commercial? Or was I having an auditory hallucination?

Diet Coke isn't manly?

Men can't HANDLE Diet coke. At least not like *I* can!!

Man Purse?

"Get me the C-4 out of the pack."

Did anyone out there see the man purse? Who was carrying the C-4, and in what?

Now, this is what we're expecting when we watch 24. Shooting, stuff blowing up. Someone, say dammit! (We already blew it on setting the perimeter.)

Dubaku, you sly dog.

Now, is that really the CIP device that has been destroyed, or a decoy?

First Dammit!

Point, Dubaku.

New Candidate

Angela, a new target for the "stupid vs. evil" assay.

I'll bet that the president knows how to neutralize the reaction created once methyl isocynate has been released.

How are we going to get Jack & Co to the vowel state where the plant is?

What about the nucular bomb that went off last season in LA? How many people died there?

OK, I can't even dignify this interchange between Janis/Janeane and the plant manager. Let's chalk it up to beyond improbable, even for the 24 verse. When M catches up to this, she's going to crack up.

Lojack on Motobo?

How does Chloe know where they are? Why can't she just build another CIP device to freeze the bad guys out of the nation's "infrastructure"?

(And the CIP device gets the bad guys into private companies? Why don't they just go in and drain the assets of all of the banks? (Or maybe this has already happened, hence the so-called toxic assets...maybe they were once healthy assets, but Dubaku and his gang went in and suched out all of the value?)

Motobo is going to have to kill his wife, so that they won't have leverage on him.

Split screen!

CIP Device

Do you think that the CIP device could be deployed to expedite my tax refund?

214 PM Hmmmm would janice (Janine (sp) G) have authorization to do all that? Also if this were a true government thing, it would be marked as 14:14

Improbable conversations during an emergency.
Janice: John, did you try flashing the memory cards
John: Three times Honey. We are not in control of the computer system...
Janice: Normally I don't allow people to call me "Honey" but we can discuss that later.
John: Yeah, well, sounds like you need to lighten up.

Actually, the last line that John said is probable.

THE FIRST GENTLEMAN!

(Possibly) Evil Ethan leaving a nasty voice mail on the dead agent's phone saying that he has to speak to "The First Gentleman" ASAP.

That's another reason for me to sigh in relief about the Obama victory over Hilary.

I never could have called Bill a gentleman!

Oh, Yeah, Sean

There's something stupidly dastardly going on there...

I Disagree

The announcer said that this was the most explosive season ever. But they've hardly even blown anything up yet!

And best actor in the role of someone who has ingested a bit too much curare before noon? First Man's gamut of facial expressions from A-F, as represented in the "previously on 24" montage -- brilliant.

And "M", "M", where are you?

Here I am. Watching on Tivo.

Previously on 24: 1pm - 2pm

It has been so long since we were out here, that we forgot about one of our blog features, "Previously on 24".

And this season, I've forgotten so much about 24 that even last week's show has hardly stuck in my mind. Let's see what I can remember. (And I don't have much time, I have a business dinner first!)

Jack and Tony have gone off with the bad guys, having faux assassinated, buried and dumped the body of Audrey, I mean Renee. We've been treated to a head fake by way of a silent clock in the 12:55 timeframe...so as the show opens, we don't know about the poor girl's fate.

We do guess, however, that we can put her in the stupid, but not evil, category.

In the meantime, the FBI is still going after her, despite the fact that they seem to have audio on the order to kill her (with a mere 15 minute delay -- if only we had that in real life) and figure her for a goner. Her boss, Inappropriate Relationship Guy whose name I truly can't remember, is heartbroken. The government has already seemingly stopped the torture investigation against her. Janeane/Janis, possibly even more evil than Nina (or perhaps Nina has had some some significant reconstructive surgery and is now a small and not so smoldery IT babe) is not so much on the scene.

On the way to the warehouse with PM and Mrs. PM, there is an annoying soap opera scene, complete with smoldery glances between Tony and the Good Looking Bad Guy (is his name David?) -- "M" points out that as much as she loves her husband, she's as hot for the bad guy as Tony might be -- and GLBG tells the whole story about how Tony went rogue in about 25 seconds (lending a very bubbly soap factor). Tony smolders, especially when GLBG and he talk about their bond. Ahem. Not that there is anything wrong with that.

The bad guys get to a warehouse, where they plan to get rid of Bauer. If I remember correctly.

Bill and Chloe -- we still don't know where Karen, Morris, or Chloe's child (or children) are -- arrive on the scene where Renee was dumped, dig her up, and treat us to some pulp fiction action, injecting her with adrenaline so that she'll come back to life. Resurrection! They convince her that she's pretty much gonna have to go rogue with them, though I can't remember their reasoning. (I had my head between my knees while I was typing so that I wouldn't faint.)

Back at Sam's apartment, Brian, in one of my more stunningly bad calls in my 6 year history with 24 (absent that season that became so stupid that "M" and I stopped watching, which we hope we won't have to repeat ths year), has proven to be a total psychopath. And his last name is Gedge?

Sam, stupid/not evil, is dead, and Agent Gedge is putting the First Man's fingerprints onto the Ginsu knife Gedge had used to kill Sam. He takes a call from (Possibly) Evil Ethan, who is all upset about Gedge letting the First Man out...and then drags the First Man up the stairs, to a landing from which he is going to stage a faux suicide by hanging.

The First Man arises from the secret paralytic drug he's been given, and in a scene reminiscient of the final scene (at least the last one I remember) in The War of the Roses, takes himself and Gedge over the edge. Gedge looks like a goner.

There's a shootout at the warehouse. Yawn. Jack and Tony have managed to kill lots of the bad guys, there's a tender scene where GLBG dies without forgiving Tony for going un-rogue and then Jack and Tony release the PM and Mrs. PM, and convince them that he and Tony really are good guys, and that they must be delivered to the other bad guys. (Who are then supposed to kill Tony and the other rogues...Jack kills them first, sniper style.)

Oh yeah, one of the terrorists has the President's cell number, and nobody in our government can take a trip to Radio Shack to build a device to disconnect the bad guy's from the nation's single firewall that is the source of all protection from bad guys.

The bad guys make two planes collide. Sigh.

The President has several improbable foreign policy one on ones with her staffers, demands to talk to every first responder in the country, and generally proves herself to be a micromanaging ninny, incapable of leading.

Women.

What could possibly happen this week? Oh, yeah -- there's a matter of that disaster in some vowel state that the chief bad guys are planning to foment.

Maybe we'll find out that Kim is watching Chloe's kids. Even better yet, that Kim and Morris are now married and share custody with Chloe -- Karen is back in Vermont running the yoga studio that she and Bill opened in a converted barn.

Maybe Jack will show his ruthless, yet tender side once again. He seemed a bit out of his element last week. He wasn't even in a World of Pain. He just seemed to wonder, "WTH (heck) am I doing here?"

And what happened to Jack's dad and his nephew/son? Will we ever meet Jack's mom? And what about Jack's smoldery sis-in-law, and mother of his nephew/son? Not to mention Awwwdrey's dad? (She's dead, right? But Boomer Babe William Devane still has my heart!) And what about TEYOP, who according to Wikipedia is still in a coma?

(On the soaps, they wake these guys up every few years. But before we awaken Wayne, maybe "M" and I should fedex the writers some Red Bull and organic blue corn tortilla chips to perk them up. Guys, the strike is over. Get cracking.)

"M", Friends, anything else to add? I've gotta run, or I'll miss my business dinner!