Recap

Dammit =4 (3 by characters, one by "A" upon realizing that "M" hadn't been compiling the recap on the fly) (Probably other Dammits by "J"s parents, upon his refusal to eat his dinner.)
Perimeters =0
Medical Interrogation =1
Jack's in a World of Pain =1
Kim, being stupid, again! = Hooray!!!! (she's back)
Civilians Pressed Into Action to Save the World = 1
Stereotypes Busted = 1 (Hooray, Jibran & Hamid aren't actually bad guys, whew.)
Resurrections = 0
New Rogues =0
Bauer Body Count = 0
IT catfight =2 (that we know of)
Presidential micromanagement =0
Lipwear challenges = 0
Hair gel moments =0
Stuff blowing up =0

Hmmm. I can't really figure out what more to say..."M" can you add anything?

We Were Wondering

What could possibly require the next two hours of our entertainment's lives.

Whew, thank goodness it is a 2 hour finale. I am at the end of my rope in terms of showing up for Monday nights!

I just fell in love with Tony

I love the eye roll after Renee said You will pay for what you did to mossy boy. That was classic

Janis and Chloe

Come on.... really? Is this the appropriate time to ask her for an apology?!?!? I think there is going to be a cat fight in the makeshift CTU

Writers, Please Redeem Yourselves

Don't let Aaron be a tool!

Ah, Ethan is back. Will we find out whether he's eeeeevil?

Aaron, don't fall for her line of BS

REally, Aaron. I hope you are just playing her. Ah HA!!!! Yes!!!! Way to go Aaron

really????

You have got to be kidding me! I'm laffing so hard I went into a coughing fit! The long haired guy in the bathroom? UGH

Right Again.

It's a hollow satisfaction, though, because we used to call them right so frequently.

Now it just feels random.

"M," You Were Right!

The guy at the airport is Jack's man!

Now, I do feel that we've got to express our formal disappointment about what a tool Aaron seems to be in the hands of these writers.

Dammit!

(And I think that this nice couple is going to turn out to be a couple of bad guys.)

Kim's shadow

I was right, but then I changed my mind and I was wrong about the guy watching Kim. Always trust your first instinct with these writers, they aren't that smart.

Renee, You're So Wrong

Jack can't rest -- there's still a matter of Will Patton! You only have 2 hours and 20 minutes to catch him.

Jack!

Close call.

Was that truck really contained enough?

Hmmm.

dammit

That was close call! Quick thinking Jibraan

Ooh

Running while Muslim on TV, not a good idea.

Sigh.

Why Did You Betray Me?

Uh, Jack, that's not a warrior attitude. It's not about your World of Pain because Tony betrayed you! It's not about you at all!

IT Chick Throwdown

Do you think there is any bullying in the relationship between Chloe and Janis?

Let the Guy with The Seizure Disorder Drive!

Good, we've got Tony. (I didn't see, is his evil girlfriend with them? or did she get away?)

Renee had better drive back to FBI HQ.

UGH Kim

You would NEVER put your back to a suspected bad guy!!! Come On, I'm in IT and I know that!!

Kim!

Go back to FBI headquarters, stat.

Listen to your age appropriate husband.

Oh, wait...we only have 2 and a half hours left. A suspicious person is slinking around Kim?

(And I can't really dignify anything more on the Olivia story line. It's just stupid.)

"Terrible Threes"

M's son is refusing to eat. Sigh.

Dammit Chloe!

Evil Will Patton

Oh, I completely forgot about Will Patton! We love him. I looked all over last week for a photo of him with Madonna in Desperately Seeking Susan, no luck...

Oaaah, torture! Way to go.

Previously on 24: 4am - 5am

Here's Kiefer, looking a little tired, apparently doing the right thing late last week, turning himself in at a Manhattan police precinct.

The Post or Daily News had a photo of the bloodied Kiefer the night before, with a headline like, "Jack cracks," or something equally intelligent.

Sigh. Kiefer, even if someone offends Brooke Shields, headbutting is never an appropriate response in real life.

Use your words instead!

Poor guy.

That said, his fictional alter ego is also having a very bad day. I wasn't too excited about last week's episode, let's see what I can remember.

In the meantime, Tony is still sucking face with his evil girlfriend, and calling shots on when the bioweapon attack should take place. Tony and co. have bullied this poor guy -- who only came here from an unnamed (or unremembered) Middle Eastern country so that his brother could access the American dream -- into being a patsy for the Canister attack. There's all kinds of IT drama loading stuff to his computer, etc.

Jon Voight/Hodges/Daddgelina has been given immunity, and he starts to prepare for his boring life as a possibly still evil denizen of some suburb in a big square state somewhere far west of here. There are all kinds of intimations about the special country club treatment that he'll have at the Betty Ford Center for witness protection...

...and simultaneously, Oilivia is plotting to have him killed, having had a White House tete a tete with someone she apparently may also have "dated" who she believes can connect her to a hit man. After lots of discussion about the potential consequences of this action, he agrees to help her.

Aaron is oblivious. Or is he?

In the meantime, Jack and Chloe have identified the Muslim guy, Jibran, and his imam. Renee and Jack head off to the mosque so that Jack can abuse a religious leader, who rises to the bait and acts belligerent and resistant, refusing to tell Jack where the supposed terrorist lives.. Jack throws some cuffs on him, and they drive off towards Jibran's place.

Tony gets poor Jibran to tell his brother that he's a terrorist, and the kid spits in his face. Tony and Jibran leave, apparently to do something nefarious that will reflect badly on Jibran. Tony has convinced Jibran that he's saving his brother's life by cooperating....I don't think so.

Olivia has voice contact with a mysterious disembodied being who will pull the trigger on Hodges, so to speak, as soon as she presses "execute" button on her computer screen that will apparently initiate a $250K wire transfer. (Heh heh, "execute", get it?)

At the last minute, Oily Olivia has a change of heart, and presses "cancel" on the transaction screen. She skips off to the White House ICU; the First Man has been moved from West Arlington hospital pending the Canister attack.

The First Family shares a tender reunion.

Hodges is released into the custody of witness protection wallahs by Janeane/Janis. (WTH? We thought she was in IT.)

(And may I digress? As if this whole blog weren't a digression. What the heck was anyone thinking about Janeane Garafolo, period...and then, what about the character of Janis, one of the least interesting characters ever to come to 24? I mean, bring back Milo!)

Hodges gets into the back of a black SUV, which then blows up real good.

Word gets back to the White House. Olivia swings back to the "stupid" side of the evil vs. stupid game, and makes a panicked phone call to the macher (I've always wanted to use that word!) who set her up with the hitman. They agree to a predawn meeting at some park.

(Hopefully there's a Starbucks nearby. I'm gonna suggest that Olivia get one of those big pink frappucino drinks. You know, the ones with the whipped cream on top that require the extra long straws. She could use the calories -- 570 with whipped cream, per the Starbucks website, which seems like a bit of creative marketing unless the pink stuff is just water and pink ice, blenderized -- and should avoid the caffeine.)

(And another aside. The nature of this season's WMD has taken some of the pleasure that the Women of the 24 Blog used to get from using the word "nucular." Sigh.)

Oh, yeah, Chloe and Jack, bla bla, tender moment, one day to live, etc.

Due to Chloe's studly IT skills, she's learned that Jibran is being framed. Jack and Renee impress the Imam with their mental flexibility. Jack is in a World of Pain. The Imam reminds Jack that it's never too late to find one's relationship with God.

Jack and Renee surprise the guy holding Jibran's brother. The brother quickly breaks a mirror and starts slashing the heck out of the bad guy. Eew. He's subdued quickly enough, and Jack roars iconic words, "We need a medic," in hopes of keeping the bad guy alive long enough to find out the Canister's target.

As the show closes, Mme. President wants to know who on the inside could have had Hodges blowed up, and Tony and Jibran are apparently preparing for an attack on the Metro.

Previews show Jack wailing on Tony, Kim pouting, and Olivia slinking around.

We are gonna hope for some of the good old time 24 writing: Hodges isn't really dead; Aaron -- working in cahoots with the also undead Nina -- has somehow prevented this from happening.

Bloop, bloop. See you in a few hours.