"M" is on Target!

And one of today's most emailed stories from the NY Times is a list of things that the (real) government needs to do:

Restore Habeas Corpus Hmmm. Does this mean that Jack won't be able to just drag anyone into his SUV, take him to his own house, and medically interrogate him? Not to mention all of the people we've brought to the CTU infirmary to interrogate.

Stop Illegal Spying Ha. Everyone in CTU would be going down! All of the wiretapping and taping of phone conversations. Yeah, right.

Ban Torture, Really What, no more medical interrogations?

Close the CIA Prisons But then, you'd have to let the good looking terrorist and his wife out! (Oh, yeah. That's not 24, that's Sleeper Cell. And I haven't seen any of season 2 yet, maybe they've already let Farik out.)

Account for Ghost Prisoners Like our friend Walid, for example. (And what is up with Walid and W's sister? We haven't seen them at all for a couple of episodes!)

Ban Extraordinary Rendition This means that we can't kidnap people and fly them to other countries where torture is legal. So that we could torture them. (Would this mean that the Chinese would have to release Audrey? And that they'd be in trouble for having taken Jack?)

Tighten the Definition of Combatant I guess this means that we might not be able to do things like killing the kid from across the street earlier in the season. I mean, kids of all people should be entitled to some due process. (Not to mention Behrouz!)

Screen Prisoners Fairly and Effectively I guess that this means that the detention camp we've had Walid in is over. Some of the prisoners are just small business owners from Flint, Michigan!

Ban Secret Evidence The Times says, "The information that may be withheld can include interrogation methods, which would make it hard, if not impossible, to prove torture or abuse." I guess that this means that Jack should let go of the idea of ever medically interrogating Audrey or any of her exes ever again. Verboten!

Better Define ‘Classified’ Evidence In the 24-verse, CTU can pull up any record on anyone. (Kind of like how our real government can decide that results of my pap smear might be important, and my doctor would have to provide them.)

Respect the Right to Counsel Oh, come on! Give our 24 government a little break. Sandra never would have gotten Walid out of that cluster f^*$ at the detention camp if we didn't respect the right to counsel!

In short, I don't see how the military-entertainment complex can possibly accede to the reactionary requests of the New York Times. If 24 or any of our other favorite civil-rights busting shows (every version of Law & Order, for example) want to hang onto a hope of retaining their verisimilitude, we need to continue to run roughshod over the US Constitution.

After all, how many people are watching 24? (13 million?) And how many people voted in the last election? (122 million.)

OK, that last statistic makes me feel better. (A little bit.)