Madame President, Cowboy Up!

Don't let your criminally stupid not even that successfully evil lipwear challenged daughter manipulate you like that. You're the leader of the free world...

WOP alert.. She is in a world of pain!!!

The Horror!

The people who conceived and executed the Burger King Square Pants ads clearly experienced some kind of trauma...

Tony, You're Hot When You're Genocidal

This woman is definitely evil. Possibly stupid, as well...

No Canister, No Money!

Someone's gonna die here...

Will Patton!

"M" and I have a long relationship with actor Will Patton...

Oops

I forgot to mention that Blondie and Tony are in cahoots....

"M" thinks that Tony and Oilivia are in cahoots

Previously on 24: 2am - 3am

Once again, I'm hamstrung to remember what happened last week. Stuff blew up, Jack was in a world of pain, Tony slunk around to cement his re-rogue status, women were either stupid or evil...and there are Canisters on the loose -- despite one of the rare uses of a Perimeter this season!

And I'm also hamstrung for time. Let's see if I can expand on that a bit without going out of my 15 minute time boundary.

OK, so Agent Moss is still dead. If you think about it, he's the victim of not listening to his own gut: he kept on asking Renee what she saw in Jack. Jack's the one who legitimized the undead Tony.

(Now what about Chloe? Stay at home mom, or has she gone evil?)

So, Renee and Jack head to the Starkwood compound. (Yes, a law enforcement professional is taking a man with a rapidly progressing degenerative brain disease to a still active crime scene. Hmmm. I hope he's armed.) Renee demands to see Larry's body and then takes command.

Tony is on the phone with his evil friend, and also monitoring the search protocols being used to look for Evil Friend and the Canister, and relaying that info over to him so that he can take evasive action.

After the now familiar question, "Hey, got any C-4?", Tony has instructed his Evil Friend to rig a building to blow (was that conversation this week, or the week before?)

Meanwhile, a hot blonde lawyer is getting dressed in the middle of the night; she's Daddgelina's attorney, getting ready to go over to advocate on his behalf. Instead, she gets a faceful of anaesthetic from a bad guy and another nearly identical blonde chick. The blonde steals the lawyer's glasses and ID (using an iPhone app that can duplicate your fingerprint!) and heads on over to holding -- not before the real attorney is dispatched -- carrying a little red pill that she instructs Hodges to take, after some high pressure negotiating tactics involving threatening his family and preserving his legacy.

It ain't a Sudafed. (Due to the nanny-staters, it is practically impossible to get Sudafed anyways.)

Somewhere in here, Kim's on her way to the airport, and we see her on the phone with her (age-appropriate) husband. Her daughter, Teri, is cooing in her crib. There's some bla bla bla about Jack, but no real plot motion. (Baby Teri's evil twin, Nina, is nowhere in evidence.)

Back at the crime scene, the grid search for the Canister continues, unencumbered by the United States Constitution: Renee has apparently declared martial law, and is bulldozing over the rights of the hapless civilians who are protesting the seemingly illegal search.

Jack is taking calls at the crime scene, and takes one from the guy who was debriefing him, inquiring about another evil terrorist that Jack had reported that Tony had (supposedly) interrogated to death.

Jack realized that someone on the ground at crime scene command must be feeding the grid search patterns to the guy with the canister, and that Renee has gone into a trap, and he radios the team to get out. The evil friend blows up the building, and Jack rushes in to save her, Tony in his wake.

Hodges, being transported someplace else, is placed in the back of a paddywagon - but not before Oilivia has looked daggers at him. (I can't remember why the heck she would even be over there.)

While in transit, Hodges takes the pill, and he has a seizure. The guys driving the paddywagon divert -- where else -- to West Arlington hospital: "M" and I are hoping that he and the First Man will be roommates.

And eew, there's a disgusting scene/plotline basically stolen from Silence of the Lambs: Tony's Evil Friend smears a dead guy's blood all over himself, and Tony "rescues" him.

Jack checks in with his friend the debriefer, who reveals that the guy that Tony had supposedly interrogated to death was in fact alive, and had been apprehended trying to cross a border. This, combined with his insight that search protocols are being shared with the Evil Friend, leads Jack to realize that Tony has re-re-rogued, and he confronts him.

At first Tony dissembles. Then, it's time for poor Jack to have a seizure.

Tony steals Jack's anti-seizure injection kit and taunts him -- while simultaneously loading his Evil Friend and the Canister into an ambulance, where they'll both be driven straight through the Perimeter -- and then asks some of the medics to help Jack, in preparation for slinking off. (But not because he actually wants anyone to help Jack, but because he doesn't have time to kill him without attracting attention.)

Jack is unable to express himself, or to get anyone to stop Tony.

And the Evil Friend, following Hannibal Lecter's plotline, attacks the EMT and takes the ambulance driver hostage.

(And now I can't remember: was Hodges going to West Arlington Hospital, or the Evil Friend...or is everything going to converge there? Somehow?)

Bloop, bloop!

I Was Too Tired -- Yoga Pose of the Week: Lion Pose

I was so tired last night that I posted things out of order, and forgot to find the photo that "M" and I discussed needing for our Yoga Pose of the Week....

Lion Pose.

Allow me to take a moment to wonder why any yogi, no matter how well meaning, would allow themselves to be photographed in this pose.

The action is a rapid exhale, accompanied by extension of your fingers and tongue while making a crazy face and a kind of roaring "ha" noise. (The eye crossing in this photo must be strictly optional. We don't practice this pose often in my tradition, thus, thankfully, I'll never be photo'd in it.)

Benefits include relief of tension in the face (we've got lots of muscles in our faces), rapid diaphragmatic action (which can have all kinds of powerful effects on your lungs, and I might guess even your digestion) and not to mention the value of inappropriate laughter. If hearty enough, the health benefits are just as potent as those of appropriate laughter.

"M" picked this pose because it inappropriately resembles Jack's convulsions. (Which she inappropriately finds humorous. I actually think that "M"s humorous view of this sad, albeit fictional, circumstance is a masking sort of laughter that relieves the tension of something much deeper...the potential end of "M"s relationship with Jack....sob.)

Until next week...

Recap

New Evil Women =1
Perimeters=2
Surprises=1 (we didn't think that Daddgelina would take the pill)
Dammit =1
WOP =1 (Renee)
Tender Moments =1 (Jack)
Internet Issue =2 ("M" 's was more severe)
Eew =1
Explosions=1
Medical interrogations=0
Minutes of our lives we'll never regain = 44 per "A"; 60 per "M"

Can Kim really be leaving? Where's Chloe? Does Carlos Bernard really believe in global warming? We miss Eggar. Will we ever find out if Janeane is stupid or evil? Is Oilivia good evil (just selfish and careerist) or bad evil (part of the conspiracy)?

Until next week...

There's No Such Thing As a Meaningless Lie!

Jack should have guessed that the Canister would be going through the perimeter in the ambulance...and not wasted his effort confronting Tony...

Way To Call It, Jack

Now, did Tony go in to kill Renee?

Nope, for the Canister.

Eew, that was disgusting...

West Arlington Hospital?

Isn't that where the First Man is?

Maybe they'd be roomies.

(and "M" can't blog, she's having a hardware issue! However, she had the "age appropriate" thought about Kim's husband.)

Jack knows...

I think Jack knows that Tony is a bad guy

Daddgelina!

I didn't think he'd do it...

Renee, Forget About the Constitution!

And, does anyone out there think that Jack might be a little suspicious of Tony? Or will he get suspicious?

Or does Tony have an antidote?

Age Appropriate!

Kim's New Hubby! What happened to the old guy?

Jack is Being Tender (again)

And Renee is talking like someone who has already had some serious therapy. "Don't tell me what to feel and how to feel it!"

And Tony's facial expression right before we went to the countdown clock, for those keeping score, was contempt.

Another Blonde Toady

And this one is Tony's friend.

Ack! First Dinner(s) and then Internet Issue!

We're late.

And Jonas is toast -- the blonde chick is going to snuff him...

Previously on 24: 1am - 2am

Ok, you can get a CTU eco water bottle at Fox's 24 website, but no clock?

I was looking for a good clock image, because last week was supposed to "stop the clock".

And they were kicking it old school last week. Let's see what I can remember.

Madame President has called off the air strikes on Starkwood.

And psychoboy Daddgelina has come in to the White House for a sit down down with Madame President. WTH? She pretends to be negotiating with terrorists, as he proposes that his militia become another official armed force of the US.

Meanwhile, while Jack is directing Tony back at Starkwood.

Yes, The Canisters make a reappearance this season. What was it, season 4, when Canisters were last up on 24? But I digress.

There's all kinds of drama with Tony pulling some C-4 out of his back pocket in order to ignite and incinerate all of the weaponized Crutzfeldt-Jacob prions (conveniently stored in Canisters) that the evil Hodges was going to rain down on American soil. Inexplicably (or so we thought) he rescued some of the bad guys as he does this.

The explosion was awesome. (Obscure factoid: a yoga text was quoted by J. Robert Oppenheimer when the atomic bomb was first detonated.)

Once the blowing up was accomplished, the micromanaging Madame President personally arrests Hodges, who vows that Madame President will regret this -- it's not going to be enough to arrest him. Others are involved.

(Maybe our old friends the Chinese?)

At any rate. Jack gets on the horn with Mme. President, and starts to try to get her to pardon Tony...and his memory fails him. The President asks one of her toadies to make sure that she gets up-to-the minute updates on Jack's health.

Kim Bauer turns up. (She looks like she might have had some work done, or something. But I digress.)

Jack rails on Renee, telling her that she's an interfering so-and-so. But, it turns out that Kim has been trying to get to him for quite some time, it's not all about Renee interfering. She's off the hook.

Kim and Jack have a distraught reunion and rapprochement, but Jack turns her away, refusing to let her to participate in a risky experiment that may not save his life. We see her kind of stalking away. (Hopefully to interfere, as we know her to be capable of doing.)

As things get sorted out at Starkwood, they still haven't found Tony, presumably ok but blown away by the blast. (Why did Bill have to die?) They assume he'll be found.

And no doubt, Tony turns up. Larry arrests him, apologizing. They get into a copter and fly off.

There's another SUV filled with FBI guys who encounter one of the Starkwood baddies. A firefight ensues, and one of the FBI guys gets word back to the mother ship that this guy has one of the canisters! And then, he's shot dead.

The copter is also somehow involved, and everyone but Tony is shot. Even Larry.

We think that Tony is helping Larry...but it turns out that instead, Tony has re-rogued.

More with the apologizing, this time Tony. After which, he suffocates Larry -- directing the bad guy to run off and hide the Canister. (This plot point stymies me. Why didn't Tony just have the bad guy shoot Larry?)

As the show closes, Tony waits for the FBI to come pick him up, hopefully bringing him a can of Barbasol and a razor.

(Hopefully Renee will be in a position to kick his @$$...bloop, bloop!)