Previously on 24

Okay, after 24 had seemed to be springing back to approximate some of the TV goodness we saw in late lamented seasons....sob....last week saw Jack, Chloe, Madame President and the ex-Evil Veep/Discredited Former President Logan riding the shark.

Where to start? Having discovered a mere 10 or 11 hours before that he was madly in love with a woman who would choose to remove a pair of handcuffs from a bad guy by grabbing a bone saw and severing the miscreant's thumb...followed by various law enforcement hi-jinks and a brief (extremely) roll in the hay, Jack has lost his beloved.

He also realizes that Madame President deserves to be the next Discredited President, for withholding the truth about the death of the hair-gel abusing President of the Islamic Republic. It was the Russians who did it.

We don't think that Jack knows this, but Evil Ex-President Logan has assumed the role of all-knowing statesman and advisor/confidante to Madame President. He's able to blackmail the Russians into signing a now-spurious peace agreement, and thus, what, temporarily saving face before the world?

Hmmm.

Jack does know that Madame President isn't living American values. He steals a helicopter, lands it on the roof of a Manhattan building, and disappears into the crowd en route to CTU to get information on Russian culpability from Bridezilla.

Once they find out that Jack's after Bridezilla, Logan and Madame President have her taken off to a dungeon to be waterboarded by bizarrely mustaschio'd members of a "private security firm." (Uh, this guy was obviously drummed out of active duty service based on his bad deployment of facial hair.)

Chloe is still in charge of CTU. (WTH???) She displays her ability to mobilize every sort of tactical operation.

Though to our knowledge, she hasn't called for a perimeter.

And she fails to give Jack credit for being able to call her next move. He calls and asks for her help finding Nina, I mean Bridezilla. She sets him up to head out to an industrial laundry in Queens, where the intrepid CTU team will scoop him up in a sting operation.

Instead, he disables everyone on the team (and whoa, there was an extremely GQ handsome Black man we were very concerned about) and snags Bridezilla's ex-Intended, Cole for his team.

The two of them are going to go rogue to rescue Bridezilla, discredit the President, somehow mend fences with Chloe, and find the Canisters.

Oops, that last one was a typo. Just ruminating on what was a different, and much better season.

RIP: A host of handsome black guys (Curtis, sob), Nina, Teri, Milo, Eggar, that former CTU head who kamikaze'd nucular warheads (or was that what happened to the canisters?) into the desert, Renee...and wait, what did happen to Jack's other main Squeeze, Awwwwdrey?

Unknown: Chloe's family (Morris and Prescott), Tony, David Palmer's 28 year old brother and also ex-President Wayne (last seen, comatose).

Sigh, RIP, 24.

(cool photo by Flickr's Richard Ling, used under Creative Commons License.)

Yoga Pose of the Week: Trataka

Trataka is the yogic cleansing practice of gazing at a candle without blinking until the eyes form tears.

We don't practice this one in my tradition, so I can't advise you on how to do it. (Similarly unqualified: the 24 writers this season.) I'd advise those who wish to practice this -- and the writers of this season's 24 -- to find a qualified teacher.

We can all safely shed a tear, though, about the late, great 24.

(Tears are tasteless by flickr's megyarsh, used under Creative Commons license.)

Previously On 24: 8am - 9am

Ok, I'm still not watching live these days -- it's all on "M"!

Last week. Let's see, the peace agreement is on the verge of salvage, as POTIR's flawless widow has been persuaded to take his place. (His spoiled daughter, Faline, seems to have lost sight of the fact that she's partly responsible for dad's death...)

This starts to unravel the fact that the Russians (hah, those wily and evil folk) are not actually on board, the Prime Minister tells Mme. President that the Russians won't recognize POTIR's widow and won't sign the accord, per the order of Russian President Suvarov. (Remember him?) Apparently Suvarov only person in the universe who isn't on Mme. President's speed dial.

And it turns out that the Russian prime minister is in cahoots with the bad guys. He's got a connection who seamlessly dresses up like an EMT and moves to the scene of POTIR's death and dispatches with Samir, who dies an unpleasant looking death back in the CTU medical suite.

From there, the Faux EMT's plan is to follow Renee and Jack, who have decamped in a cab -- Jack having had yet another convo with Mme. President and once again resigned from CTU -- and kill them both.

Hastings has been removed from his posting as head of CTU. His replacement (wait for it) Chloe, is quick to request a toxicology panel for Samir.

According the resilient and recovering (Evil?) Ethan, Mme. President's only diplomatic avenue to conversation with the rotten Russkies is to engage with the criminally discredited (and then apparently pardoned?) ex-President Logan (formerly known here as the Evil Veep) who has an inside connection with them.

"M" and I predict that things will not go well for Mme. President.

Jack and Renee go back to his place for a (quick, extremely quick) roll in the hay.

The ick factor is high, extremely high.

While Jack is making coffee (WTH?), Chloe calls Jack to check in, and Renee picks up his phone. Chloe quickly informs Renee about Samir's murder (verified by the tox. panel, go Chloe) and Renee realizes that she might have recognized the Faux EMT from her old cover as a Russian mobster's moll and requests to see the files from that case.

But not before the Faux EMT kills the guy across the street from Jack's pad, watches Renee and Jack roll around (eew) and shoots Renee mortally.

Jack runs down to the street, puts Renee into a cab...because hospitals are closing all over NYC, he doesn't get her to a trauma center quickly enough and she dies.

Jack is in a World Of Pain.

Pose of the Week: Vaschistasana

This photo, "Ivan in Vaschistasana" is a photo of a man learning the pose, so he's not in total alignment at the time that the photo was snapped. But there is something very noble and beautiful about his effort.

He's got a lot of strength. This pose is hard for men -- especially strong ones like Ivan -- because brute muscular strength actually doesn't help...rather than drawing muscularly towards the center, you need to extend away.

Of course, poor Jack is both tough and tender. He probably rocks Vashistasana.

The pose is named after the sage Vashista, who was also a noble. (Nothing silly about him, just noble.)

(When you google this pose, you find an abundance of photos of one woman in the most interesting turquoise outfit with striped legwarmers. Legwarmers? Uh, what a feeling!)

Recap: 8am - 9am

Dammit=0
Perimeter =0
Women-empowering, but improbable, personnel changes =2
The Return of Creepy Old Friends = Hello President Logan! (you look like you might have had some work done)
Handsome Dead Black Men =0 (Hastings can still buy it during the debrief, though)
Bauer kills =0
Bauer makes a bad choice in female companions =1 (RIP, Renee. You didn't have it easy.)
Improbable Presidential Convos = uh, just about every scene. I'm half expecting Mme. President to take a meeting at Starbucks. (I'm thinking that her drink would be a dark cherry mocha, the frappucino version.)

Speaking of Starbuck, Tai could not have been more right about Battlestar Galactica. I'm completely addicted, what a great show. Smart, fun, great acting, and both noble and silly at the same time.

And maybe that's the thing about 24. It is silly, but noble. We'll miss it.

Aw poor Jack

I'll give him a hug!! He's got a good sad face :(
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Split Screen Montage TIme

Jack, you don't have the best luck with women.

Poor Renee.

Someone get Jack some scrubs.

Oh, no.

Shark jumpage!!!

Really?come on now. A cab?
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Another Cab!

And could that sniper be a worse shot?

(1145 W. 18th Street would be somewhere in NJ.)

Wth did I miss

I missed so much!! Jack and renee? Ugh! Doh That's going to leave a mark. Man, jack can hardly get a break with his women!
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Oh, No!

I don't want Renee to get shot!

Eew!!!!

Can you fast forward hulu!? Eew.

I feel like I need to take a shower.

Kayla, You Spoiled Brat

Maybe if you can keep your eyes (and hands) off of the bad guys, your mom will survive her Presidency.

(Uh, taking a car to the UN? During rush hour? With this sort of security issues you've been having?)

Oh, Logan. And that actor from Dollhouse. (Sigh, Joss!)

What kind of leverage could Logan have. (And David Palmer, sigh. I wonder if we'll see his 28-year old brother? Or is he dead, too? I forget.)

Logan, you're a regular yankee doodle dandy. Mme. President, this is not a good idea.

I worry

That Madam Prez is going to be proven stupid, not evil

And I don't trust the swarmy assistant either
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Arlo Looks Suspicious Of The Change In Command

Hastings, you're not a tool anymore -- you're a real mensch. That's a real turnaround. (Or a total lack of character continuity.)

Ah, buh bye Samir.

Chloe's excellent IT training pays off...a toxicology panel?!

Didn't see that coming

Chloe in charge?! She wasn't even employed by them, was she??
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Interesting

Ex-Pres Logan has kept a possibly inappropriate relationship with Russia
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Ethan

One tough SOB. Sorry to be checking in late. Hope mobile blogging works
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Ah, President Suvarov!

Remember him? This must be where the old evil Veep comes in.

Ethan, you resilient ba$tard!

(The Women of The 24 Blog might not slow down to gawk at automobile accidents, but we sure do love some Cliffhanger.)

It Doesn't Look Good For This Old Guy.

Yeah. Wily freaking Russians.

And, eew.