Sigh. Previously On 24: 9pm - 10pm

OK, going into this week, Tai has put her finger on it -- I believe for both "M" and me, too -- when she said that the scene where Renee inexplicably has to take a shower (leading to nakedness and a presumed extremely inappropriate, unsafe behavior involving Bad Vlad) is where 24 finally jumped the shark.

It never seemed that this could be possible. Remember when Jack killed the guy by biting his throat? Shot the guy's wife in the thigh to get him to talk? "Interrogated" his own brother?

I would have said, 24 can't jump the shark. 24 IS the shark.

There's a sound of one hand clapping thing in there somewhere. I'm just too bored to reach for it.

We used to have writers who, stoked on Annie's Cheddar Bunnies and Red Bull, would wreak nucular havoc on Los Angeles, send CTU management into the desert strapped to a nucular bomb, and let CTU analysts die horrendous deaths in their glassed in cubicles while their friends watched. Women were either stupid or evil (or crazy) and sometimes all in one season...but they didn't leave us guessing for all that long.

And. Stuff. Blew. Up. All the time!

OK, stop whining.

Renee has been accepted by the bad guys, having allowed them to shoot her supposed cohort. (Remember North By Northwest, "It's an old trick, shoot one of your own to show that you're not one of them...they've just freshened it up a bit...")

She's also convinced them, by whining, that she needs this deal. This deal has to do with the Rods, and Jack, masquerading as a German national bad@$$ who went to Bennington or somesuch, and thus has no faux German accent, and who is going to buy the Rods.

And she has also unwisely taken a shower, tossed her comms transmitter down the bathroom sink, and presumably been coerced into unspeakable acts with Vlad.

Bad Vlad plans to have his men shoot Jack, as soon as the money transfer goes through. Hah. Jack has Freddie Prinze Junior as his personal sniper, and he manages to dispatch with the presumed asassains. Jack demands to talk with Renee. (Showing his hand far too much, I say.)

Hastings, the man with no first name, won't pull Renee out. She's in too deep, and there's nobody else in the entire Federal Government -- acknowledged or Black Ops, or for that matter, the company formerly known as Blackwater, I mean Starkweather or who might work for Jack's evil Dad who we presume is possibly still alive, or even Tony who was last seen being led off screaming -- who can deal with these Russians.

Jack knows that she's in such a World of Pain that she has a death wish. But Hastings, the tool, won't listen to him. Jack's going to have to deal with this guy later on. But I digress.

Bridezilla has returned to CTU, disregarding the advice of the Women of the 24 Blog to take care of her ex, MethHead Kevin, in a faux home invasion. She's having clandestine phone convos with MHK...she's doing some server jujitsu to let him and his bromantic partner into a police evidence locker where he can help himself to some cash without giving up her past as a juvenile delinquent.

As if. She should have taken that job at Smith Barney. (Her implausible pad would have seemed a bit more in line then, too.)

Ah, the President, Madame, is calling around to the heads of state to see how they feel about Human Rights issues in the Islamic Republic, which have come to the fore in the face of the upcoming treaty.

Other than serious hair issues, The President of the Islamic Republic, aka Jack Lord, knows that his brother, the Bollywood star, is out to get him. I think that the Rods have also been traced to Bolly Boy, but that's all a bit fuzzy.

And speaking of the Rods, there's a psychopathic Russian who let one of his sons carry the Rods in the back of his Subaru Outback. After a pointless plotline that involved a brief hostage drama and the deaths of 2 members of the medical care industry, Psycho Dad has shot his dying son, and really taught his older son a lesson about being a Good Listener.

("M" and her hubby do it with her oldest with fake money that he earns and loses. She got a few lessons in parenting last week, for sure.)

So Jack Lord is also paranoid about some good looking guy on his staff, who he wants to have arrested. I think that this is the same guy who we see on the phone with his doe-eyed daughter, Faline, as we moved inexorably and all too slowly towards the split screen montage and the close of last week's show.

Sigh.

Chloe, Ethan, Morris, and Expendable Arlo, not so apparent. (Though Arlo is watching Bridezilla far too closely for his own good. I look for MethHead Kevin to totally take him out. If Chloe doesn't do it first, using only her words as a weapon. Snap.) Cole (groom of Bridezilla) shows up for a strategic sniper moment, but fades into the woodwork. Kim, hubby, and Toddler Terri, maybe over Vegas at this point, coming in for a smooth landing in another episode or so.

Sigh. No sign of Eggar, Nina, Michelle, either President Palmer (though the elder of the two makes frequent appearances via Allstate ads that just make me miss the olden days of 24), or the amazing Jean Smart. (Or, swoon, Aaron.)

You know who would really class up 24? Bruce Greenwood.

Or maybe some of the old writers. (Who are probably by now in college.) But I digress.

Until tomorrow. Bloop, bloop.