Tony

Is Greg on Tony's team? (Not that there's anything wrong with that.)

Any Tony, styling on the facial hair...again

2319 2319

Has anyone else seen Monsters, Inc.. They are doing a 2319 on Jack!! Come on... is that all they are taking off????

Ouch!

That power hose was aimed at some pretty tender places.

Finally, they've explained the Sangala thing -- so soapy that I'm blowing bubbles. I wonder if Erica Kane will appear on the next episode!

And speaking of ouch, what is up with the ordinary beating up type of torture? Why don't we pull the old medical interrogation?

Previously on 24: 10pm - 11pm

Sigh, it really is more difficult to remember the action when a whole week goes by between viewing the show and writing this post.

I will say that this episode hinted at some of what first sucked "M" and I into what might be called called fandom. (Uh, well, "M" thinks that Kiefer is hot; "A" thinks he's not.)

On one hand, nothing blew up and the end of the world seems to be at least 60 minutes away. On the other hand, you have evil family members; a vast and well organized terrorist conspiracy with apparent ties to good guys (do we really think that Jack's Dad is dead? what really happened when that oil platform blew up? it would be a real twofer if Bauer Senior was Olivia's biological dad...); some kind of weapon that will inevitably have to be defused to save the world; Jack and Tony on the prowl together again...and a few loose ends have been swept up -- we have confirmed that Oily Olivia is evil, and the First Man story line may be over...we hope.

Here's what I remember. Jack and Tony rendez-vouz to head over to some shipping yard. On the way over, Tony suggests that they call the FBI for backup. Jack says, no.

When they get there, they quickly intuit that security guard with an expensive medical bill has conspired with bad guys he thinks are only robbers. Oops, it turns out that they are picking up some WMDs that have somehow arrived undetected. (Despite the friction free flow of information about Tony and other "chatter", the FBI seems to get no intel about anything the bad guys might do...sigh.)

Jealous Larry tells possibly Evil Ethan (I can't let it go -- where DID he go during the 30 minute siege on the White House? 7-11 for a Big Gulp?) that Jack has killed the Senator, based on nothing other than his own failure to understand what Renee sees in Jack.

After a gratuitious scene back at West Arlington Hospital where the First Man checks in via phone with the president, hopefully wrapping up that story line soap style: you were right, honey; Honey, I'm going to make a full recovery. Buh-bye, First Man, see ya next season. (Maybe he'll be running for President. It happens.)

Ethan resigns, telling Mme. President that he is soon to be outed for his role in letting Jack into the ex-Goldman banker's hospital room. Ethan and Mme. President hold hands for just a little bit too long, but she lets him go. We still don't know where the Veep has been. (I'm thinking bunker.)

There's also an odd scene of Ethan and the President's nasty lipwear challenged and none-too-resourceful daughter, Oilivia, parting. We start to wonder if Ethan might actually be her dad...no way it's the First Man.

Oilivia turns out to have leaked news stories about Ethan. D'oh. I guess that this is going to turn out badly.

The head of the dastardly rogue organization Starkweather, Daddgelina, throws out some odd one liners, but we finally learn the cause of his major trauma: he's disappointed that he has this group of well trained (and hot!) rogues, and the US Government does not want to make use of them. Therefore, he's gonna change the name of the company to Xe.

Oops, that's real life. I mean, he's going to wreak havoc with America, by terrorizing and killing citizens. He woodenly proclaims that this is not what he wants to do -- it is what he must do.

But there's corporate intrigue, too. Daddgelina shows that he's a rogue times two, the board totally didn't approve having Quinn off the Senator.

Hmmm.

Jack, Tony, and the hapless security guard try to outwit the terrorists. Jack seems to be showing cracks in the armor that let him send a diner waitress of to her death at the hands of a handsome terrorist, and blows their cover to save the security guard.

(It must be noted that the diner waitress comes off as a more credible warrior than the security guard, who slithers off, rather than buying it.)

There's shooting, there's some Bauer Kills (a reliable source says 3), and Jack hi-Jacks an 18-wheeler containing the WMD, revealed to be a bioweapon. Tony is somehow known to the other terrorists (because they apparently don't believe in true "cell" organizational structure? because they are Facebook friends?) and they for some reason decide that he'll be a good hostage.

Moss has decided to look at the evidence, and realizes that Jack might not have killed the Senator. (Because Jack for some reason wouldn't have had access to the cool weapons technology that the now-staked Quinn had used?) So he and Renee are speaking again. Renee randomly and inexplicably decides to share her intel about what Jack suspects and where he is heading.

After Jack drives off, he calls Larry for help. (I'm not sure how it evolved from a bad idea to a good one in 20 minutes time.) Larry agrees to come on over.

Jack then realizes that one of the bioweapons is leaking. He holds his breath and jumps into the back of the truck to close down that leak. When he gets out, he is assailed by land and air, and Starkweather somehow manages to pull the bioweapon out of the top of the 18 wheeler (giant can opener and magnet?) leaving Jack behind, alive. (They must have had a lojack on the hijacked shipment.)

WTH? I guess the writers figured that the next 9-10 hours of our lives in the 24-verse need Jack.

Jack then calls his new BFF Larry and tells him that the bioweapon is on the move, and they both figure it's headed for Starkweather's compound. But Larry can't assault that site without due process.

Jack tells him to send over some doctors, he's been exposed to the bioweapon.

Speaking of sweeping up, in the previews, the shirtless Jack is being hosed down and scrubbed with a broom...

But we don't know what has happened to Chloe and Morris, Aaron, TEYOP, the Veep (current one or Evil one), no word on when Kim will show up (probably having also borne a child) or when we might see Nina again.

Bloop, bloop...see you in a few hours.

Yoga Pose of the Day: Pranayama

Technically, pranayama is not a yoga pose. It is the practice of manipulating your breath...it is a whole branch of yoga, which is actually more refined (and I think difficult) than asana, or the physical posture practice.

Jack needed all of his yogic powers to hold his breath and run into the semi and shut down the leaky valve on the bioweapon containment system.

(This is someone named Swami Ramdev, from the website www.4to40.com.)

Recap

Women Proven Evil = 1
Women Proven Stupid =0
Perimeter = 0
Bauer's Kill Count = 3?
Hair Gel Moments =0
Lipwear Challenges = I'll have to rewatch a couple of scenes on my Mac later in the week
Resurrections =0.5 (The First Man)
Dammit =3 or 4
Smoldery glances =1 (Mme. President and Ethan)
Renee/Moss arguments about Jack =1 (though it didn't have much brio)
Jack Being Tender =1
New Rogues =0

Well, it was the most classic 24 episode of the season, in my opinion. And as always, we have questions: who is Olivia's father? What year is it? Why did Moss start to actually look at the evidence? Where did Chloe and Morris go? Why did they let the Expendable Dude live?

Yawn, I'm closing the store. (Almost, I have a yoga pose to add.)

And also, we've made our 1000th post on this blog...

Another Dammit!

That was the most heartfelt Dammit yet. Airlifting the old bioweapon out with a helicopter.

Why would the Starkwood guys leave Jack alive? That makes no sense at all.

They couldn't possibly know that Jack had been exposed...

Jack Has The Bioweapon, At Least

Tony is held hostage? As if. What good is Tony to them alive?

(And where did tonight's music come from?)

Jack, don't open the bioweapon!!!!! WTH are you thinking?

Uh, Stupid Question

But should you be shooting around the bioweapon?

And is the lead bad guy, what is up with the bad Brooklyn accent? I thought he was gonna ask for some cawfee.

Oh, no, hand to hand. Tony! Dammit. I can't lose you again.

Buh-Bye Expendable Dude

We're so sorry. (Though why Jack is sorry about this guy and not Marika...maybe the slap across the face that Renee gave him made a difference.)

And another dammit, from Tony! And a well reasoned argument

And yet another dammit. And a not dead guy...and "A", wrong again! Expendable guy, not so expendable.

The Voice Of Reason

Oh, the evidence might not seem so convincing? Even Jack couldn't have gotten the gun the Senator was killed with.

Renee has to trust Jack. Larry is too stupid to be evil.

Who's the Actor Playing Doug?

If Dennis Hopper could be Victor Drazen (ah those were the days), couldn't Chris Cooper be Doug?

Ah, Carl, don't get in the car. The bad guy has taken the same Paul Ekman face reading course I took, he knows you're lying. Don't do it! And Tony, calling it like a champ. "He was dead the second he stepped outside that door, Jack." Let it go, man.

And now with Olivia and Ethan apologizing to one another -- and Ethan, giving some "fatherly" advice (wink wink).

And Olivia, that was a contemptuous smirk. (And I just missed something because "M" called to explain why she was delayed.) Something about Olivia calling the reporter, we knew that she was a nasty little piece of work! I can't tell if she's lipwear challenged this week, because I'm watching on my TV, not the laptop...

Now They Want to Call the FBI

Uh, didn't Tony have that idea 10 minutes ago? But then you'd have backup. (And someone to set a perimeter.)

Uh, Jack just made promise to Expendable Dude that he can't possibly keep.

Dammit!

Carl, you're going to have to call Chloe for me.

Ah

Now I get this -- Blackwater is down, so they are gonna show the US government how much we need them?

And here is one of my favorite freaking actors, Chris Cooper? Could that be?

They are Six Year Olds

and they have to eat their carrots?

WTH?

Dude, You're Expendable

I think that in the credits, this actor and father-to-be of twins will be shown as "expendable dude".

Is Evil Ethan Having A Heart Attack?

And where does Moss get off chastising Ethan?

Ah, to get Tony up to speed, Jack has to give one of those soap opera recaps. And Tony is advising him to call the Feebies!

The First Man! Has his finger been re-attached? And a split screen...there's nobody there in the hospital room with him, even as First Man. (I keep on telling my parents that if and when they go into the hospital here in the "First World", even Consumer Reports suggests that you get a private duty nurse. But I digress.)

(I thought that Ethan was going to invoke the 25th amendment...whew. Instead, he's just sniveling. And "M" thought he was sniveling last week. Check this.

Madame President is getting verklempt. And again, another improbable one-on-one with the president. Hasn't her security detail learned anything, what with the 30 minute siege?

Let him go, Madame President. (And is there a hint of the real relationship between Ethan and the pres? Sigh. Maybe Ethan is Oily Olivia's real dad.)

Previously on 24: 9pm - 10pm

It's a lot easier to remember what went on when a whole week hasn't gone by since I last watched!

OK, the President has hired her probably evil definitely nasty none-too-resourceful and lipwear challenged daughter as a "special advisor". The First Daughter convinces Madame Mom to go on TV and take credit for victory in Sangala. (WTH?) Possibly Evil Ethan takes responsibility for Bauer's potential involvement in the death of the ex-Goldman banker. Madame President looks about as mad as your 6th grade teacher did when you did something stupid but not all that terribly nasty.

Jack has re-rogued, having failed to consider merely proving that he didn't slit the ex-Goldman banker's throat by virtue of being garbed in a pristine white shirt. (I love a man in a white shirt, especially if he's Clive Owen, but I digress.)

After stealing a gorgeous classic car (and defacing it by breaking a window with his elbow, for which he should be spanked) Jack drives off while simultaneously uploading stuff to his Mac and dialing Renee.

Renee has been suspended, but her phone and computer access have not, so she's able to identify the bad guy who slithered away through the ceiling (because Jack somehow got a disc with hospital surveillance footage on it? I missed that) and get that info to Jack -- he's a Black Ops guy who has (of course) gone rogue and has done work for the Blackwater-like group that does everything bad in the world. Renee reminds Jack that Senator 70s Show has been investigating this group, and would have confidential files on his home PC. Then, she's taken into custody.

(I hope they let her take a comb. This is the first chance she's had to remove the little rocks that were inevitably stuck in her hair when Jack and Tony buried her alive. How she got so clean -- even in HD -- is just another of many continuity questions that plague the Women of The 24 Blog this season.)

Jon Voight is getting a shipment of WMDs. He's not so interesting, so I can't remember how they all figured out where Jack was off to with the disc. But he sends Quinn after him.

Jack heads to the Senator's private residence. My prediction was that the Senator would find Jack in his study. 2 POINTS! Why do people always go to the study for these late night break-in tete-a-tetes? Wouldn't Jack want to get a nice snack out of the Senator's fridge? He's from Wisconsin, I'll bet there would have been some awesome cheese in there.

At any rate, the Senator starts plumbing the depths of Jack's pain, and is about to believe and get on board with Jack...and Jack has finally found someone he is willing to trust...when throat slitting Quinn pretends like he's DCPD ("candygram") and shoots the Senator ("landshark").

A chase ensues with an awesome fight scene that reminded "A" of the old days when Buffy and Faith used to fight. Jack traps the guy in a construction trailer, and then bulldozes it. Quinn crawls up and out of the trailer and Jack has to stab him in the chest with a sharp pointy object that he later uses to start a stolen truck and move on, presumably towards the destination of the "shipment" of WMDs, which the dying Quinn had told him had already arrived. (I guess going back for the Goat was out of the question.)

There's also a side story going on with Chloe in custody, Morris coming in to pick her up, and being blackmailed into decrypting Jack's destination from Renee's files. Moss and his toadies suit up for a group hug before they go off to the Senator's.

Another side story involves "someone" at the White House leaking information to the press about Bauer's involvement in the ex-Goldman banker's death. But Oily Olivia somehow proves to her 25th Amendment-worthy mom that it was not her doing.

Jack also gets hold of Tony (uh, because Quinn had Tony's number programmed into his phone, which is I believe the phone that Jack is now using?) and Tony's going to stop at Target for some weapons and surveillance equipment and meet him at the shipyard or wherever the heck the text on Quinn's phone implied they would be.

...Moss and his team arrive at Red's place to find the Senator dead. The jealous Agent Moss jumps to the conclusion that Jack has really decompensated based on I'm not sure what evidence. Maybe its the smell of Jack's Axe Body Spray hanging in the air? Moss, finally sick of due process himself, puts out a "shoot to kill" order on Jack.

I think we've figured out that there are another 10 hours to go this season and things have picked up slightly...

(...and I am ready to give "M" and the Hubby some of the extremely rare parenting advice I feel qualified to give: keep "J" away from the Axe body spray website until he's at least 35.)

Bloop, bloop.

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(photo from Mercurynews.com)