Previously On 24: Jack, Looking For Love in All The Wrong Places

Relying on a previously successful gambit, the Chinese have reached out and touched Jack at possibly his most vulnerable. After all, he has showed a disappointing lack of imagination by killing Fayed in a hackneyed imitation of a Tarantino whacking; he has also saved the world from the remaining 3 suitcase nukes. And now the Chinese are now making their nefarious demands.

They tell Jack that they'll exchange AWWWdrey for a circuit board from one of the suitcase nukes. There was some techy explanation for why they couldn't just build their own, something about the old technology used in these Russian nukes not requiring encryption. Or something along those lines.

Implication: Russian technology is old, and inferior. Chinese technical expertise is inferior, so they're reduced to hiring makeup artists who haven't worked since Quest For Fire and blackmailing the guy who has killed CTU bosses (Chapelle) and his own good friend Curtis -- not to mention having " interrogated" his own brother, and the aforementioned Awwwdrey.

Ok, so the Russian technology is old and inferior. Chinese expertise is inferior. But they can shop, can't they? Instead of walking into any Radio Shack and helping themselves to a circuit board, the Chinese must rely on getting Jack to value Awwwdrey's life over the safety of the American public.

And by extension of the same implication: the US of A rocks the house on technology. (But don't tell that to people who suffered a world of faux hurt when they had to unexpectedly detox from Blackberry addictions last week. But I digress.)

Much to the distress of any True Believer in Jack: the next scene has Jack whining on the phone to TEYOP that he needs this circuit board, and that TEYOP owes him. Big time.

See the rest of the blogosphere for reaction to what the 24 writers have done to Jack. We're just here to report what happened.

TEYOP tells him that he can have the circuit board, and then has a stroke on national TV. The Evil Veep is now in power, Blonde Toady is back (and EEEEW there was some additional evidence that only Condoleeza Rice is woman enough to have a public service job without having the requisite government-issue boyfriend.) Veep doesn't want Jack to have the circuit board.

Jack has an improbable interaction with the Marines guarding the nukes and it is funny, I can't even remember if he got the circuit board or not. And The Hubby points out, Navy or Air Force would be guarding nukes, not Marines! And sorry, but in Jack's apparently weakened state, even a Girl Scout troop would have kicked his @$$.

(Leading The 24 Blog to wonder, is Jack the Whiner a ruse? We can hope.)

But who cares. Jack has gone rogue (yawn) and everyone from Doyle to his own daughter Kim is gonna be gunning for him.

Except for maybe Chloe, who showed some encouraging signs of life, when (finally) she gets a call from Jack asking for covert assistance. Frankly, I think he should have sent her to Radio Shack to buy the darned thing. Don't worry: even in the aftermath of the Valencia blasts, they're open!

And Jack, next time the phone rings after you've saved the world? Let it go to voice mail, babe.

Bill Maher on Jack

The Hubby found this: Bill Maher on Sacrifice.

It's an interesting bit. I laughed. Here is part of what made me laugh. I guess now he is up to making me laugh 3x in the past two days.

"...And yet no one asks the tough questions, like "Is torture necessary?", "Who will watch the watchers?" and "When does Jack Bauer go to the bathroom?" (Laughter.) I mean, it's been five years–is he wearing one of those astronaut diapers?..."

See the comments on We're Not The Only Ones Who Think Jack's Very Bad Day is a Very, Very Bad Day! for what else made me laugh tonight!

Hair Gel Problem

I don't get the whole hair gel thing, I mean everybody is using it.

Hair Gel Problem: Part Deux

Speaking of hair gel, this guy lives with wolves. (Photo from NY Times.)

Jack may need to move into his hood after this very (very, extremely) bad day finally ends.

We're Not The Only Ones Who Think Jack's Very Bad Day is a Very, Very Bad Day!

Heather Havrilesky of Salon calls it "The Longest Day Ever".

"M", which season did we both stop watching? There was one season that "M" stopped watching after about 5 or 6 episodes..."A" lasted a few more than that. Maybe Season 4?
M's Comment: It was season three because I read the recap on Wikipedia (I love that site!) of major events and Sherry Palmer is DEAD TOO!!!

Of course, The 24 Blog is a kind of denial for us. If we're having so much fun poking at Jack and his cohorts, we don't have to admit that we have a problem: there might be no "there" there...

Say it ain't so.

On the other hand, though, after the Season We Quit, 24 came back strong. It's gonna be hard for a great comeback at this stage, though. So many of the great characters are gone (sob, we still miss Eggar) and others have been homogenized beyond the point of our interest (Chloe, Bill).

Say what you want about Michele and Tony. But self righteous Nadia and Milo the High School Sophomore...well they ain't no Michele and Tony!

And Jack has been turned into a snivelling whiner...because he wants his girlfriend back?

Havrilesky implies that old Jack would have killed his own Mom (not to mention handsome Curtis) to keep America safe. (Maybe that's what happened to Mom; Jack probably had some bad days before Season One!)

Now Jack is willing to risk the American people to recover Awwwdrey.

Thanks, Tai, for sharing the Salon article.

24 Recap...If I Can Keep My Eyes Open to Type

ZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzz.

Perimeter: 0
Dammit: 1
Missed opportunities to say Dammit: at least one
Missed opportunities to riff on hair gel: Aaagh, can you say "Awwwwdrey"?
Apparant facial movements by Evil Veep: 1?
Reappearance of hated female characters (and we are women!): 2
Constitution almost placed back into effect: 1
Friends of the 24 Blog who will watch if Ricky takes over: 0
Times "A" almost fell asleep: 17
Times "M" was distracted by the computer: 5
Handsome black men down for the count: 1

(Well, the Hubby is not a woman, but "M" says that he plays one on TV.)

"M" says she might not be watching live next week, because she's going to Florida. As we all know, there is no TV or internet in Florida. We can hope that a technological revolution will sweep the state in the next week, though! (Or maybe she can drive up to Georgia for the evening, where they do have these advantages.)

Missing in Action:

• Marilyn, Jack's dad, Spawn of Bauer, Walid, Sandra, Brady (coming to CTU next season, though: there is still an open req for Eggar's position)...
• Gradenko, Logan, and Kumar -- did anyone see their dead bodies?
• Nadia and Milo may have been making out in the server room, because they were nowhere to be seen...but previews show Nadia back and in action next week, moving from her role in IT to a field role? She's seen barking the order "Pursue and Engage!"
• Where are Erin and Martha? ("M" added 23:23 EDT)

Hubby, LPK, "E" (formerly known as "B") and "P". thanks for joining us!

"M", anything to add? "M" says yes. It's from KiefersKate's comment on this post. She has it all figured out! Check the comments for the entire comment
She writes:
"...I agree there is no way we can get filled in on those that are MIA! Only 6 hours to go and far too many loose ends.... unless Jack's Dad is at the hosp visiting Logan when Martha and Aaron pop by on the way to jail to see how they are, Gredenko is brought in, with his arm in a bag and seaweed in his hair and Jack's Dad goes to sit with him for a while cos they're old mates... Then Marilyn and spawn of Bauer pop in for a check up/paternity test and spot Grandad and he bumps them off... that would tie up a few loose ends for Jack and save him having to choose between Awwdrey and her...

Just a basic Question

They have helicopters covering the opening of an envelope in LA. It would seem, judging from all the other activity, no one except CTU knows the bomb went off. So why are there not helicopters with lights just all over the place?

New Writer?

It's hard to keep the excitment going when your mind is just scrambled bananas.

Traveling in the Truck

CTU seems to have a GPS up every gnats butt, but they have to ask Doyle where he is and of course Jack will just be able to drive away and know one will be able to find him?

Ricky Ricky Ricky

He should have said Dammit!

Tuck and roll, Jack

He is on to them just from the YES that Doyle mumbled.

Don't test me Doyle. I killed my best friend Curtis just this morning after my terrorist breakfast after being released from Chinese prison where I was TORTURED.

Snore Fest

Last week was just too action packed. This week, ZZZZ.

Not a single a perimeter. Jack pulls a gun on Ricky. Yaaawn.

Split scren montage.

Maybe the writers just had sympathy for the last minute tax filers...if you pulled an all nighter to pull your tax stuff together, it could be difficult to stay awake, I guess.

Now, Did the Evil Veep Resign Yet?

Nope, he's kind of smirking at the news that TEYOP has had a serious stroke.

I'd like to see Karen and Blonde Toady throw down about now.

Evil Veep...how dare you doubt Jack's ability to do anything? And Karen and Tom are now capitulating to the Evil Veep? Can't Tom leak that tape?

And hello US Constitution. Did the Evil Veep just transfer executive authority to himself?

Lennox is a Dead Man

Hey Tom. It's time to run man! You know the VP will not let the tape out.

TEYOP's Going Down!

On national TV

Extremes

Wait didn't we send a "Nuke" toward a phantom country in the Middle East.
I don't know she kinda looked like an Andrew.
Here comes the Stroke!

Blond Sympathy

Uh Oh, is her name Monica?

1/2 Hour

You can't get anywhere in LA in a half hour.

OK, Can I Say "Shut Up" Twice?

The Blonde Toady hasn't been told to step off? She's not duct taped to Chad?

Evil Veep is trying to get his face to move. Maybe he had oral surgery earlier in the "day" and the anaesthetic is still wearing off.

BT: "I don't know what to say." How about "I'm stupid AND evil."

or how about: EEEEWWWWWWWWW!

Just dawned on Morris

He is not getting any for awhile.