WTH?

a) How did Renee find the terrorists?

and,

b) Where is Sengala -- off Rehoboth Beach? How the heck did Juma get to the US so quickly? (Didn't we see him in Sengala earlier in this season, or were we faked out?)

She's Gonna Call Jack

I'm predicting...

Madame President

Is she going to torture the ex-Goldman banker?

She's reading him his rights?

Ends, Meet Means

Means, meet ends.

The whole debate, in 2 minutes...and in an improbable hallway one-on-one with between the hysterically impaired President and her possibly evil chief of staff?

(Though I think we agree with Craig's earlier assessment that Ethan is probably not evil.)

Did Jack Just Taze the Phone?

Get out.

127 more time...

before the battery dies

Jack needs to accessorise better

Maybe a leopard print

Senators gonna do it

Yeah, our first mention of invoking the 25th amendment. The POTUS is in a highly emotional state

OMG Janis and Chloe?!?

Is that how I sound at work?!?!?!?!?!

Jack the cracker...

He not a chriropracter, but he also plays *that* on TV. Anyone else hear the adjustment he made to him?

AAAGH

2 hours tonight?

WTH?

I'll be on into it a bit. Must eat.

Previously on 24: 5pm - 6pm (or, "Bring Back Nina!")

OK, here's what I remember.

Marika took off with the frat boy to meet with Dubaku. She's scared and he's angry. He decides that she's not really to blame after all (or does he -- maybe he plans to solve this problem "at altitude, over water"?) and gets her into the car with him under the guise of heading out of the country together.

Jack and Renee are released by the DC police, after the faux warrant is miraculously released. A car chase ensues, and Marika causes a car accident that comes at the cost of her life -- creating a bit of drama when Renee tries to pull her from the fiery car. Jack refuses to help, and Renee points a gun at Jack to get him to help.

Dubaku is badly injured. Jack makes the first responders revive him for long enough to threaten to seek out and torture his family members, and Dubaku reveals the existence of his insurance policy before he passes out. Jack figures out that this insurance policy is in the form of a subcutaneous data storage device, and cuts him open and pulls a weird little disc out of his side.

Eew.

Jack gives the disc to some random chopper pilot and tells him to bring it to Larry. (Because Jack's spidey sense lets him know that this guy isn't part of the conspiracy?) Chloe gets her hands on this, and because Sean has tapped the conference room, he knows what's on it.

Sean sees that this disc will out him and all of his mercenary (yet bankerly) friends, and lures Insecure Blonde Chick into the server room. Turns out she is stupid and evil, but quite the IT babe. She starts to erase everything that Chloe is uploading, and tells Larry that they are in the clear.

Sean makes like he's going to swap spit with her, and then shoots her instead. Turns out he's a total psychopath. He shoots himself in the arm, and then makes like an injured party.

Larry (who along with the First man is kind of a honorary chick, really, and stupid but not apparently evil) spills tons of information to Sean.

Until Chloe, who as a matter of good IT hygiene had been mirroring the server on her blackberry or somesuch (something that "M" can now do, now that she's Microsoft Certified!), finds out that she's got all of the records from the disc, and outs Sean.

Larry is pissed. (And in kind of a peevish sort of way.)

And then AIG has some issues, and Jack does a hostile takeover. Uh, no, that is just we might wish had happened. Can we get Bauer on the financial markets, stat?

The President gets called back to the White House. There's nothing she can do for the First Man at the Arlington hospital. I think that Bill wants her back there in the White House yoga studio, maybe doing some balanced breathing exercises and getting back to her role as commander in chief.

Marika's manipulative older sister is extremely upset to learn of Marika's heroic death, and lashes out at Renee. Jack and Renee have a tete a tete, Renee is righteously upset with Jack for treating Marika like a piece of furniture. Renee breaks down, Jack responds woodenly, and Jack leaves, reminding Renee never to point a gun at him again unless she intends to use it.

"I did," she says.

(With the old writers, this would have presaged some inevitable hanky panky between the two of them, but I can no longer predict...)

The nasty First Daughter appears at the White House, and I was too bored to really watch and retain that.

Jack and Tony have a little tete a tete. (All of a sudden he is, friction free, sitting on the steps of one of those Federal buildings where people on TV always meet with spies and moles. I'm not sure how they connected, did Tony poke him using mobile Facebook?)

Jack believes that all is well with Dubaku's list on hand, and it is time for Tony to turn himself in. Not so, says Tony. Juma (the other guy from Sangala) also apparently has endless resources and is planning an attack on the US.

Turns out that one of the banker/mercenaries is a high ranking staffer to a Senator -- which we see right after Tony tells Jack about the guy. As we move to a split screen montage that announces the end of this 40-whatever minutes of mind-numbing TV wasteland, they are both on their way to visit the White House...where the next step of their nefarious plan is to unfold.

Uh, couldn't Tony just text Bill to tell him not to let this guy into the White House?

Anything I forgot? Could I possibly be more engaged, given what we're working with this year?

Jack, Jack, come back to yourself! (I'm wondering whether he is actually depressed, or is suffering from PTSD -- but the 24 hour format won't lend itself to any exploration of this important issue for our real warriors.)

Bring back Nina! Bring back TEYOP. We miss Eggar and Chloe and the true social discomfort and quirkyness they managed to respectfully convey. (Or was I just reading too much into it?)

Bloop, bloop....

Yoga Pose Of The Day: Warrior II

This is from a website called Bush Yoga.

And it is to honor the real warriors, the ones that don't act like Jack did in tonight's episode!

It's not just that you save the world. How you do it counts.

Recap

Women Proven Stupid =1
Women Proven Evil =1
Women Proven Stupid and Evil =1
Dammit =1
Server Room Fatalities =1
Killed by Jack =0
New Rogues =0
Resurrections=0

OK, next week Juma's men storm the White House? Um, I'm not sure I can make it through the season.

And next week is a 2 hour episode?

(And I didn't make it to aikido class tonight, I have a cold. Hopefully next week.)

Shut up! (Again)

The ex-Goldman Banker works for the Senator who is persecuting, I mean prosecuting Jack?

(And Tony and Jack are going to have to quell another terrorist attack by the Sengala-lese?)

WTH?

Jack is Being Tender

Or a bit wooden, at least.

I'm thinking that a little face sucking is in Jack and Renee's future. She's never going to be able to go back to Larry and her old boring clandestine office romance.

Larry Is Stupid!

And he and Sean just had a total chick conversation...of course, Larry spilled his guts.

Now Sean has the whole story.

Chloe! The old mirroring on an outside server trick.

Now, is Janeane/Janis going to turn out to be some kind of uber-evil genius who has something going on at some different level?

And is Renee maybe going to torture Sean? I bet she will. (I'm waiting for her to slap Jack, first. I think we're heading up to that.)

Sean

Sean is not too bright, either.

And Chloe doesn't believe him.

And forensics are never going to bear him out.

Insecure Blonde Chick...

You shouldn't have gone into the server room. I don't think that Sean is going to let you out...

Dammit! First dammit, insecure blonde stupid/evil chick!

And don't try too much fancy server kung fu -- Chloe is gonna get you.

Eeew

That was an awesome shot of Jack pulling the weird chip out of Dubaku!

Luckily, I was done eating.

I was eating some very keyboard unfriendly pizza during the first 18 minutes or so...so couldn't comment on Insecure Blonde Chick, stupid AND evil (maybe a first for 24), the fact that a true soldier/warrior would never threaten to track another warrior's family member down and make him suffer (like Jack did to Dubaku)...

(And "protecting what matters most is what matters to America," I think that is Kiefer's voice on a Bank of America ad. Sadly, the management of B of A didn't do that.)

And Jack just handed that disc to a random helicopter pilot for delivery to Moss when we don't even trust the entire White House staff and security detail?

aaagh, Insecure Blonde Chick is EXTREMELY stupid. The word "labile" is popping to mind.